The Soul's Work Podcast

How Authentic Are We in Our Relationships? (Practicing Relationship Anarchy)

Janice Ho Season 5 Episode 2

In this episode, Janice discusses why it's challenging to show up authentically in our intimate relationships, including some of the ways internalizing dominant culture's "relationship rules" had her constantly feeling insecure and trying to manage her past partners.

She shares about how practicing relationship anarchy (RA) – which advocates for us building our relationships through open communication, collaboration and mutual consent vs. according to prescribed labels and rigid social norms – has helped her feel more secure in herself, deepen her connection with others, and approach her dating partners and friends with more curiosity and care. 

The reflection questions Janice mentions include:

  • How intentional am I being in building this relationship with the other? 
  • Am I truly aware of what I need and desire from this person I’m in relationship with? Have I communicated that transparently to the other? 
  • How do I stay true to myself, while also staying open to the other person’s needs, preferences, and boundaries when I’m navigating, for example, a romantic partnership where I might bring in expectations and pre-conceived ideas of what that relationship “should” look like?
  • Am I actively creating a safe-enough space for the other, where they trust they can express themselves authentically, even when that means us bumping into each other’s differences that can cause tension?
  • Am I aware of how the dominant culture impacts the decisions I make in my intimate relationships?

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DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for working with a professional mental health or healing practitioner.